Weekly Recap – April 26th, 2013
I fought it out with The Devil of Doubt this week. He wanted me to give up and do something easy. He wanted me to feel exposed and worthless, to know that I was deluding myself into thinking I could be a writer.
But you know what? F*** him.
Halfway through the week, something inside of me pushed back. While I could have felt sorry for myself for days on end, I decided doing so would be giving This Enemy of Mine exactly what he wanted. The only power he had over me was that which I handed him.
And so I decided to fool the Old Bastard. I pretended that he was right.
I told him that I was not going to look at my novel-in-progress anymore. I was going to just noodle around and type some things and if they happened to be close to my original story idea, why, that was merely coincidence. I was hitting keys on the keyboard, nothing more. That some of the output made sense and maybe helped reshape my story premise into something I could work with, well, pure serendipity!
And of course I wasn’t going to do any more research. No, sir, not me. That would mean I was planning on wasting more of my precious minutes on this earth. That book I was reading and highlighting and taking notes on? I was just going to continue reading that for fun. If a few things get marked up in neon yellow, it’s only because I thought they were interesting facts to discuss with my friends.
So began my return to the good fight. This ‘stepping back’ made me realize that the reason I was having so much trouble outlining my novel was because my premise lacked focus. I couldn’t draw up a roadmap because my original goal had me going in two directions at the same time. Maybe someone with more experience could handle such an idea with ease. But I know my limitations. Architects don’t lead billion dollar projects when they’re interns.
I hope you all have a great weekend and, as always, I appreciate you taking the time to visit and listen to the crazy man hoot and holler from his porch.